This Is All I Need To Feel Alive
by xxwaitingxforxthatxmomentxx
Summary: Hermione's gay and scared. Kind of a mix of what actually happens and an alternate universe at the same time.
1. Chapter 1

I was staring out of the window, watching the countryside speed by and turn in to a constant blur with the sound of Harry and Ron talking about Quidditch across from me. I wasn't paying much attention to anything but my current thoughts which were of the whereabouts of a certain Ginger fourth year that always usually sat with us.

After I spent a while thinking about this, I heard the compartment door slide open and Neville walked in to the compartment and sat down, followed by no one else except for Ginny Weasley. A smile appeared on my face and I turned to be social instead of looking out of the window, Harry noticed this and gave me a confused look, I shook my head and he looked away.

The rest of the journey was spent talking about further Quidditch, spells, teachers, what lessons would be like this year, what the next adventure would be and then there was some petty arguments mainly between Ron and Ginny but obviously, Ron gave up in these arguments as we all knew that Ginny could cast some very harsh spells at times and no one wanted to be on the receiving end of them or they would be sorry.

When we finally got up to the castle and sat down next or across from each other, the sorting hat went straight in to singing a new song and then started to sort the new students between the houses. Straight after this Dumbledore rose up and give his usual short speech which only consisted of roughly five or six words and then quickly introduced Professor Lockhart whom when many girls saw, they swooned and nearly fainted. I rolled my eyes and looked at Ginny, she had just mirrored me and then moved her plate and goblet to the side and rested her arms on the table and her head on them.

The plates suddenly filled with food and Ron dug in eagerly making as much noise eating the food as he could and annoyed Ginny a lot by doing this. It took two minutes for her to snap and yell.

"Ron, must you eat like a pig? It's disgusting" Ginny yelled at him. He just stared at her and then continued to eat; she sighed and looked down at her own empty plate. Ginny always seemed to have problem with Ron these days, he could never do anything right. I did wonder what was going on between them but maybe she was just stressed out. I decided that I would try to talk to her when we got back to the common room.

We all sat in silence and ate the food that was presented in front of us, everyone ate apart from Ginny. I kept looking up to see whether she was alright but every time I looked up, it felt like she was just getting upset or in a worse mood than she was already.

After dinner had finished, she sat still and didn't make any sign whether she was going to get up and go to the common room. Everyone else had left and it was just me and her who were sitting at the table across from each other. I heard her sigh once again and she lifted her head up and looked shocked that I was still sat there whilst everyone else wasn't.

"Ginny, what's wrong?" I asked her gently.

"You wouldn't understand" She replied quietly.

"Try me. Come on, you can tell me"

"No I can't." She said in a tone of voice that seemed to be getting more raised by the minute.

"Why not?" I was confused as to why she couldn't tell me, we had talked about a few things before but I don't know why she didn't feel like she could talk to me right now about her problems. Maybe she just needed time, if she didn't answer this then I would back off for a while but I wasn't going to let it drop and I would find out.

"Because it's you okay! It's you!" She yelled and then got up and walked off. I sat there in silence. I'd like to think that when she said that that she meant that she doesn't want to tell me everything in her life and that she's sick of just one person knowing about her. Although, I knew that she meant that I was the problem but I couldn't see why.  
I eventually got up and walked slowly up to the common room and followed someone else through the portrait. I walked in to the main area and saw that Harry was the only one in there and that he was sat in front of the fire facing it. I walked over to him and sat next to him.

"Hermione? Do you have any idea what is going on between Ron and Ginny? It seemed a bit tension filled at dinner" He asked me. I shook my head.

"I wish I knew, I really do, I don't know what's going on with Ginny these days, she won't talk to me, she's hardly said anything to me in all the time that we've seen each other"

"I have the feeling that even Ron doesn't know what he's done wrong" he replied. I nodded once again as I felt the same because I knew that Ginny wouldn't just tell Ron what he was doing wrong or what her problems were, especially if they were about me because Ginny would obviously know that Ron would have a further problem or would just cause trouble and have a big fit about it like he always seems to do.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning I walked in to the Great Hall and sat next to everyone else when I eventually found them at the bottom end of the table. I sat across from Ginny and gave her a quick smile before getting some toast to eat. I saw her return a small smile and this cheered me up because at least she's smiling a bit now.

"**So Harry, ready for Potions?"** Ron asked him with his mouth full of toast. When he spoke, several small pieces of bitten and chewed up toast flew out of his mouth. Ginny slammed her fists down on the table and turned to Ron.

"**Can you EVER just keep your mouth shut when you're eating?"** She yelled.

"**I'm only asking a question"** He yelled back.

"**Yes but we're also getting toast spat at us at the same time and no one even cares what you're saying so just up alright!"** She replied in a dangerous voice and balled her fists up again, fuming in her seat. By this point, everyone had turned around to look at their part of the table and Ron's face was as red as his hair.

"**God, you have got problems haven't you"** He said quietly but she still managed to hear him. She got up from her seat and slapped him hard around the head. He muffled a noise of pain with his toast still stuffed in to his mouth.

"**What is her problem? Is she running out of boyfriends or something?"** Ron asked me and Harry, I replied by giving him a slap to the face and Harry just shook his head at him.

"**Ronald, shut up"** I said to him. Harry put his hand on my shoulder to calm me down.

"**Ron, why is Ginny being like this with you, why are you suddenly getting to her so much?"** Harry asked. Ron shook his head.

"**I don't know, she's been like this since we were all staying in my room at our house, maybe she's just annoyed that I've got friends and she hasn't"** I rolled my eyes. **"Oh well, I'm sure she'll find a new boyfriend or something, isn't that how she gets over things these days. Why don't you go for her Harry?"**

"**Go for her? She's not a toy or something; Harry can't just go for her for god's sake. Have you ever listened to yourself Ronald? If you ever manage to get a girlfriend, it will shock me."** I yelled and then stormed off. He was so annoying, I felt sorry for Ginny and everyone else having to live with him.  
I found Ginny walking around the corridors and when I stopped her she seemed a lot calmer than she was before, thankfully.

"**Hermione, how can you like someone like him?"** She asked me.

"**He's a good friend at times I guess"** I answered, it was true, sometimes he was a good friend. Useless most of the time but on the odd occasion like the year before with the Chess challenge on the quest for the Philosophers Stone, but yes otherwise, definitely useless.

"**I meant how can you like him as more than a friend? I mean it's obvious that he likes you too"**

"**What?" **I was genuinely confused. **"I don't like him as more than a friend. God no. Just no, that's wrong. I don't"** I told her. I didn't like him at all and there were two main reasons to this. One being that he was my friend and the other being that he was Male, the Male part didn't really sit with me.

"**You don't? So it's Harry you like then? How confusing, you always act like its Ron"** She said.

"**No, I don't like any of them. Ginny, why are you being like this? Why are you obsessed with thinking that I like one of them, do you want Harry or something because if you want, you can try because I don't want him?"**

"**Why don't you want him though? I mean, it's Harry, I thought he was every girls dream?"** She asked me in a confused tone of voice. I dragged her by the arm to somewhere that was quiet. She stood quietly as I leaned with my head against a Pillar and said in a quiet voice.

"**I'm gay Ginny"** I sighed **"I like girls okay?"** I continued.

"**Oh"**


End file.
